No one thinks the happy cowboy (đ€ ) is pushy. And best of all, Slack breaks the double bind, in which women are disliked for being either too assertive or too nurturing. Itâs much easier to perform your gender with a dancing penguin than by â power posingâ or whatever. I simply say what needs to be said in Slack, throw in an exclamation point and a nice emoji, and call it a day.
Of course, I still want my colleagues to like me, so I still bend a knee to gender norms. I donât have to smile, I donât have to worry about my vocal tone, and no one cares how Iâm sitting. Now I feel like I can throw all these books in the garbage, because the only things that matter to my work success are the sentences I type into Google Docs and the sentences I type into Slack.
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The Girlâs Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch) advises said girl, âDonât let self-doubt creep into your tone.â Former CNN Vice President Gail Evans, in Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, suggests that women try to sit more like men do, admitting, âIt took me years to figure out how to inhabit my executive desk chair.â Years! Worrying about sitting! âA womanâs request will be better received if she asserts âWe had a great year,â as opposed to âI had a great year.ââ Even better if she can do so while smiling like a girlboss rodeo clown. âWhenever possible, women should substitute âweâ for âI,ââ Sheryl Sandberg writes in Lean In, the holy writ of this genre.
(This being the innocent springtime of the pre-Trump era, âwhat you wantâ was typically imagined to be a promotion.) Because women face backlash for behaving assertively in the workplace, these books mostly advise pretending to be nicer while subtly trying to get what you want. Years ago, for a story and in an attempt to be more successful, I read a bunch of âhow to be a woman at workâ books.
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